Skip navigation

Category Archives: Sick Sad World

Dough-Vo a no-no: Krispy Kreme concedes

April 30, 2009 – 11:20AM
The stakes were high when Arnott’s took on Krispy Kreme to protect its Iced Vo-Vo trademark.

Arnotts was defending big bikkies and Krispy was looking at a lot of dough.

The battle was set to play out in the homes and offices of Australia at morning coffee and afternoon tea time, but the war of the clones ended today without a shot being fired.

Arnott’s threatened legal action action over Krispy Kreme’s Iced

Dough-Vo doughnut, which is covered in pink icing and coconut flakes, just like the famous Iced Vo-Vo biscuit.

An Arnott’s spokeswoman said Krispy Kreme Australia must have been coconuts to think it could take advantage of the 103-year old Vo-Vo trade mark.

Krispy Kreme Australia had argued that imitation was the sincerest form of flattery and Arnotts should be tickled pink at the homage to its iconic brand.

Now the doughnut maker has backed down and agreed to rename the Iced Dough-Vo from May 11, Arnott’s and Krispy Kreme said in a joint statement issued today.

A storm in a teacup, it seems.

April 24, 2009 02:45pm

Coincidence?… The iconic Australian Iced Vo-Vo, and the Krispy Kreme Iced Dough-Vo (inset).

ARNOTT’S, maker of the iconic Iced Vo-Vo biscuit, is threatening legal action against the Krispy Kreme doughnut chain if it doesn’t stop selling “Iced Dough-Vo” doughnuts.

Arnott’s lawyers Mallesons Stephen Jaques on Monday sent a letter to Krispy Kreme alleging Iced Dough-Vo doughnuts infringed the biscuit maker’s intellectual property.

It said the name given to the doughnuts, topped with a pink fondant icing sprinkled with coconut, was deceptively similar to Arnott’s Vo-Vo trademarks and sounded almost identical.

It also said Arnott’s was prepared to take whatever steps necessary to protect the name.

Arnott’s gave the Australian arm of the doughnut chain until 5pm today to stop using the name and to undertake not to use similar names in the future.

However, Krispy Kreme Australia CEO John McGuigan said after taking legal advice, the company had decided to continue selling the Iced Dough-Vo.

He said the Iced Dough-Vo and a Rocky Road doughnut were part of a Fair Dinkum Doughnuts promotion that aimed to “put a smile on the faces of our customers and, in a sense, pay homage to some Aussie household favourites”.

He said Krispy Kreme customers understood the difference between a doughnut and a biscuit.

“The word ‘iced’ is pretty well used, and the word ‘dough’ I don’t think has got anything to do with what Arnott’s do, and the word ‘vo’, I’m not sure what it means, but it goes well with ‘dough’.”

Arnott’s has been using the Vo-Vo, Iced Vo-Vo and Iced Vo Vo trademarks since first registering the Vo-Vo name in 1906.

The much loved Iced Vo-Vo, with its strips of pink fondant and jam sprinkled with coconut, is a favourite of Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who mentioned it in his 2007 election victory speech.,27753,25379774-462,00.html

By staff writers

April 24, 2009 08:00am
Text size

A POLICE officer in Scotland has confessed to following the Jedi faith beloved of Star Wars film fans, respected policing analysis group Jane’s reports.

Pam Fleming, a 45-year-old beat officer in Glasgow for Strathclyde Police, said that she thought all police officers “should be Jedis,” when interviewed by Jane’s Police Review.

“For me, it is not a joke,” she said. “Being a Jedi is a way of life.

“I love the Star Wars films and the concept of being a Jedi, that the faith is not divisive.”

Ms Fleming said she knew of other Jedis in Strathclyde Police – the force apparently has eight in total.

She told The Sun she uses Jedi mind tricks to get the truth out of suspects during interviews.

However, Ms Fleming said she does not use her powers to influence what suspects say or do.

“I have even started calling my probationer as a joke my Padawan (Jedi apprentice),” she said, “although I am not sure he likes that.”

Your Say
When Did Dobby become a Jedi Knight? or am i mixing scenes, guess i had too much too smoke this morning.

(Read More)

Gary of Jedi Knight School of Wizards and Witchery According to Britain’s Office for National Statistics, a total of 390,000 people in England and Wales listed their religion as Jedi in the most recent census in 2001.

Scotland has a reported 14,000 followers.

But it noted that this may have been largely due to an internet campaign launched in the run-up to the census. Jedi followers are grouped under atheist.,27574,25378901-13762,00.html

A proposed Australian Bill of She’ll be Rights, mate

Catherine Deveny
April 21, 2009

ANY sportsman who has displayed the behaviour of a thug, an alcoholic, a violent sociopath or a rapist has the right to be described as a “rough diamond”, “loveable rogue” or “knockabout character” with a “heart of gold”.

CITIZENS have the right to ask foreigners: “How do you like Australia?” If the foreigner does not respond enthusiastically that “Australia is the greatest place in the world”, the foreigner is immediately to be deported and forced to wear a Ken Done “I Love Australia” T-shirt for the rest of their lives.

WHEN draining a few cans at a local establishment, no person is to undermine the liberty of his compatriots by refusing to participate in the shout — excuses of being a poof, having to get up early or being violently allergic to alcohol notwithstanding.

a) WHEN watching a feature film from “overseas”, the appearance of any person with an Australian accent is to be heralded with the excited ejaculation: “That guy’s Australian. Did you hear that?”

b) Citizens must take every opportunity to remind fellow citizens that “we invented the Hills Hoist, the VCR and the wine cask”. “We” means all of us. It is prohibited to acknowledge the name of the individual responsible. When one wins, we all win. When one of us fails, they are unAustralian.

c) A citizen is honoured with the title “Our” when people from overseas acknowledge they exist; eg, “Our Hugh”, “Our Nic”, “Our Cate”, “Our Kylie” and “Our Mary, Princess Of Denmark”.

THE flying of the Australian flag outside a person’s home or the wearing of an Australian flag to a sporting event is an unassailable right of the Australian citizen. It confirms their jingoism and reinforces their belief that Australia is better than Anywhere Else and, by extension, they are better than Anyone Else for living Here.

CITIZENS are required to act “more Australian than Steve Irwin” when conversing with recently arrived visitors from “overseas”. Citizens are required to punctuate sentences with “bonza”, “sheila”, “crikey”, “strewth” and “cobber”, and to draw the visitors’ attention to our extreme weather and dangerous animals. It is imperative for citizens to imply that foreigners are weak and would be unable to live here because they “couldn’t hack it”. It is compulsory for citizens to extract an admission of defeat or inadequacy from the foreigner.

USE of the terms “Pull my finger”, “I’ve had a gutful”, “What are you looking at?”, “I shagged your sister”, “Come here and say that”, “You. Me. Car park. Now”, “While you’re down there”, “Have a stab”, and “Cracked the shits” is enshrined in this charter. So too the universal recognition that someone you call “a bastard” you are fond of but someone you call “a bit of a bastard” you are not.

CITIZENS have the right to refuse to acknowledge the existence of Tall Poppy Syndrome by playing the Underdog Card. Identifying as an underdog comforts the citizen who is not successful enough to be a tall poppy, while conveying the impression they never wanted to be one anyway, because tall poppies are wankers and deserve to be cut down. Even though they don’t exist.

ALL citizens have the right to refer to Kiwis as “sheep shaggers”, categorically refusing to acknowledge that’s what the rest of the world calls us.

FEDERATION? Constitution? Words to the national anthem? Stuffed if I know.


WHEN a national tragedy occurs, citizens must vicariously experience the event via media saturation of Trauma Porn. Citizens must comment on acts of compassion and assistance as “uniquely Australian” and “an intrinsic part of the Australian character”. Any suggestion this is a normal reaction and a universal response of the human spirit is prohibited.

CITIZENS are to be outraged when migrants call our women “sluts”. All citizens are obliged to uphold our women’s honour by strenuously asserting that we have the best sluts in the world, which is why they call this place the Lucky Country.

By Kate Schneider
April 22, 2009 08:30am

A US company has launched the world’s first pets-only airline dedicated to animal-friendly travel. Pet Airways will cater for people who loathe the idea of their pets being stored in the cargo hold area during a flight by offering their pet-only service.

From July the new airline will fly dogs and cats in the main cabin of a turbo-prop Beech 1900 passenger plane which has furnishings such as the seats and bins removed, with animals placed in their private pet carriers and locked into a restraint system.

The plane can hold up to 50 dogs or cats. A pet attendant checks on the animals and makes sure they have regular toilet breaks during the flight.

“Pet Airways is the world’s first airline exclusively dedicated to the safe and comfortable transportation of pets,” the company’s website says.

“With Pet Airways, your pet will be safe and comfortable flying in the main cabin – not in cargo.”

Pet Airways will fly to 42 US cities including Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and Washington.

Fares start from $US149 ($212).,28318,25369013-5014090,00.html

Actually, it is a homage to Daria, MTV’s great turn-of-millenium series…


February 04, 2009 08:07am

A red-faced Russian pilot was forced from the plane’s cockpit after passengers said he was “too drunk to fly”.

The first sign of trouble came when the Aeroflot pilot slurred his words during the pre-flight announcement aboard a December 28 flight from Moscow to New York, reports the Moscow Times.

”The first thought that occurred to me was, ‘This guy is drunk’,” passenger Khatuna Kobiashvili said. “His speech was so slurred it was hard to tell what language he was speaking.”

When the pilot, Alexander Cheplevsky, reportedly emerged from the cockpit of the Boeing 767 jet after refusing to do so for half an hour, he was red-faced with bloodshot eyes and appeared unsteady on his feet.

Alarmed passengers pleaded with flight attendants, crew and several Aeroflot representatives who boarded the plane, and over 100 of them signed a statement saying they believed Cheplevsky was drunk.

”At first he was looking at us like we were crazy. Then when we wouldn’t back down, he said, ‘I’ll sit here quietly in a corner. We have three more pilots. I won’t even touch the controls, I promise’,” said Katya Kushner, another passenger

The crew was replaced after three hours but the airline at first dismissed the passengers’ concerns: “The flight attendants were telling us that we were crazy,” Kushner said.

An Aeroflot representative sought to assure them that “it’s not such a big deal if the pilot is drunk.”

“Really, all he has to do is press a button and the plane flies itself,” the representative said.

“The worst that could happen is he’ll trip over something in the cockpit.”

Three weeks after the incident, Aeroflot said in a statement that Cheplevsky might have suffered a stroke immediately before the flight and that tests had found no signs of intoxication.

In a bizarre twist, one of the passengers was Ksenia Sobchak, the host of a popular Russian television reality show and daughter of a former St Petersburg mayor who has pledged to use her influence to keep the pilot grounded.

It took him three tries to say the words ‘duration of flight’,” Sobchak told Echo of Moscow radio after the incident, adding: “I will fight to make sure that this person is never again at the controls of an airplane.”

Komsomolskaya Pravda reported that Cheplevsky had celebrated his birthday the day before the flight.

Nicknamed “Aeroflop” in Soviet times for its dour flight attendants and bad food, Aeroflot has invested billions of dollars in reinventing itself over the past decade with the help of consultants.

NEW South Wales police reckon they’ve seen it all after nabbing a man for allegedly trying to smash his way into a cafe using a frozen chicken.

But the man, who police say swiped the chook during an earlier break and enter at a butcher’s shop, came off second best.

As far as tools of the crime trade go, it seems frozen chickens don’t rate.

The alleged thief was forced to call emergency services after he was injured using the chook and some rocks to try to get into the cafe in Macksville, in the state’s north.

“Police will allege that the man smashed the shopfront window using a frozen chicken stolen from the butcher and a number of rocks,” police said.

“In the process the man suffered a minor injury to his wrist.”

The 20-year-old was nabbed early today after he called authorities seeking help for his injury.

He has been charged with break and enter offences and is due to face Kempsey Local Court later today.